Wow! I can't believe it's April 1st already! This past 6 weeks have flown by, which I guess is a good thing...Dad continues to go to therapy at Turnstone and is getting more movement little by little. As of last week he is now part of their fitness program too which will hopefully allow his muscles to get even stronger. It's been such a long slow process that there are days that I can't imagine what life would be like if this had not happened. He is getting better at being on his own more and more which is good since I started part-time work in February which quickly developed into a full-time position. I am really enjoying my job but I'm already starting to find that I need to buckle down and use my time wisely in order to get things done and not feel like I always have work to do.
I love spring time in the country! It's by far one of my favorite times of year..with the early warmth things started blooming early which has been a mood stabilizer for me for sure. The red bud tree in the back yard is priceless and full of memories for me...and I'm hoping that sometime this week the lilac bushes will be in full bloom which will complete my spring time happiness. It's a good thing that I truly find happiness in the God-given beauty of nature because people continue to disappoint me constantly. Close friends are hard to come by and I'm grateful for the ones I have but depression is a difficult thing to manage at times. Mainly because I feel so alone but even when I'm around people/friends I don't feel like talking to them because I don't want to burden anyone. I'm seriously beginning to wonder if my dreams of motherhood and a marriage will ever come true....I know how to find happiness in my life but I've always wanted those two things more than anything and I just can't seem to make them happen. Men can be so difficult to understand at times and my heart is so incredibly fickle and tender that I fall for people who never feel the same way that I do which can make me ridiculously miserable until I realize that this is MY life and if I want to enjoy it then I need to do what makes me happy and not wait on someone else because they may never show up. I have been thinking alot the past year about the saying "If you love something, give it away and if it comes back to you then it's yours to keep" however the love I gave away 8 years ago and came back last year seems to be falling farther and farther away from where I want it to be. But I can't control his heart, I can only attempt to understand/repair mine.
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