Background

Disclaimer: This blog is intended to be my raw thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I need an outlet to get things out and this is how I'm choosing to do it....if you want to read something sweet & innocent stopping reading this now and find another a blog....I find something to smile about everyday but life is hard and this blog will hopefully reflect that.

My life has been forever changed in the past 2 years...if you know me at all you know that my mother died of ovarian cancer on Dec. 30, 2009. We were blessed with 2 years post diagnosis where I learned that you can not take anything for granted. My mother & I had a rocky relationship for a long time but those last 2 years she quickly became my best friend....I miss her terribly but hope that I'm doing things that can make her proud. After stuggling with grief for the first year after she passed my position at the Northeaster Center was eliminated and I became unemployed. I welcomed the change and hoped to find something new to do as a career. However, Dad fell in January and ended up with a brain injury that caused him to permanently lose his ability to taste & smell....not convienent but manageable. In June he proposed to his girlfriend and they planned on getting married in October. I struggled with how this would change my life but was very happy for him to move on and still feel like he had something to live for without Mom. However, on July 17, 2011 my life was forever changed when he fell down Cheryl's basement stairs and was instantly paralyzed from the neck down. He was able to regain some movement and little feeling in his arms & toes over the next few days but we all definitely were taught what it means to be humble. When he couldn't wipe the tears from his eyes I realized that this was going to be one of my biggest life challenges. After spending 53 days either in the hospital or rehab center he was sent home and I became the primary caregiver. This was not at all what I had envisioned as my new career but what could I do...he's my daddy and no one else was stepping into this role. I moved back into his house, put my trailer up for sale and attempted to wrap my head around what changes I would have to make with my life in order to make his life my comfortable.

Dad has now been home for over 4 months and every morning we are presented with new obstacles, I'm still unemployed although desperately hoping to be hired soon with a company I've interviewed 3 times with, and although the day-to-day routine has gotten easier to grasp the big picture is still awfully fuzzy and scary for me...I will hopefully be able to update this every couple of days with what's going on in my life as the caregiver of a quadraplegic....